unedited

I hated being a child. It’s not just words that I say I want to grow up, I want to quickly become a true adult. I wish I was the one who could hug the little child like that, but it was miserable that I couldn’t.

I was awakened by the little child’s intensifying movements. Even if it’s over the clothes, if she keeps scratching like that, she’ll get hurt. Or she might injure her scratching hand.

To prevent that, I grabbed the little child’s hand. I squeezed my hands tight to keep it from escaping. My heart sank even more because of the fingers struggling so much that I couldn’t stand it even with my own strength. My mistake touched me more. I’m really sorry for making her face what she was afraid of.

It was I who threw her into her pain. It was the limit. Tears poured from my eyes again.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. It’s my fault.”

I buried my face in the little child’s arm and muttered incessantly that I was sorry. I know the little child can’t hear it, but I felt like I had to do something like this. I cried so much that I couldn’t see properly.

“Kir.”

And the moment I heard the little child’s voice again, the stormy emotions stopped. I don’t know what caused the little child to come to her senses again. But the little child opened her eyes and came back to her senses, looking straight at me.

It was refreshing to see her come back to the way I knew her and put on a faint smile so as not to worry those around her. I could finally take a breath. It was a feeling that came to my mind before relief.

“What happened? The last thing I saw was fire…”

The little child asked perhaps she couldn’t clearly remember the time before she passed out. But can I tell this to someone who is afraid of fire? After hesitating, I saw Captain Hertman’s eyes and told her the truth.

“Nothing much happened. As soon as the fire grew, you fell and then the fire disappeared without a trace.”

“The, the fire… didn’t hit me?”

On the contrary, the little child seemed shocked to hear that the fire had not reached her. The little child, who had been absent-minded for a while, leaned on Captain Hertman and closed her eyes.

I knew it was the little child. But she always looked bold. Maybe that’s why, the moment I saw the little child who was on the verge of breaking or disappearing, tears welled up again. Guilt weighed me down. The person who went through a big deal said it was okay, so it is a nuisance for me to cry.

I couldn’t stop crying, but I gnashed my teeth to keep myself from making a sound. The tears on both cheeks felt really hot and cold.

Silently, suppressing my unspeakable feelings, I made a resolution. That I would become an adult, that I would protect the little child, no, Aren…

Perhaps because of Captain Hertman’s request, I didn’t get scolded by Father more about Aren’s collapse. However, Father has informed me that I must be punished for stealing the key and sneaking into the treasure trove.

“Please. Please let me take all the punishment myself. It’s all my fault.”

Then I begged to Father. Since I was the one who persuaded Aren and go to the treasure trove, I clung to get scolded and punished alone. I didn’t want to punish the person who collapsed in shock.

With a look of displeasure, Father ordered me to be by him every evening after dinner. Where Father is so I can’t do anything else. At least it was a weak punishment because I was his son.

Every day in Father’s office, I was beside him while he worked. It was hard, but I persevered with courage. Because it was in front of Father, I couldn’t help it. Of course, I had no intention of being rude. I endured and endured, thinking of the little child struggling.

Aren, who I met again after a few days, was no different from usual. Seeing her like that, there was no reason for me to bring the matter back then. Aren didn’t even mention why it happened. I had to accept it as it was as she was also being nonchalant.

Even when she was weak, Aren was Aren. Aren is smart, cute, and loves to eat. But I’m afraid of hurting Aren again, so I don’t behave like I used to.

Just like that, everyday life passed quickly.