Chapter 1: I’m Going Crazy

…..I”m going crazy these days. What do I call it? Paranoia? I believe so.

My wife’s behavior was growing suspicious. 

When I’m out on business trips to the provinces, I see her… her with the thick perfume on and new sets of panties I had never seen before.

“Who are you going to meet?” I asked.

“Just a highschool classmate of mine. You saw her last time.”

I nodded. “Oh, that girl who makes dresses?”

“She’s a designer. Designer. She has a shop in Cheongdam-dong.”

“Ah, right. Designer. Didn’t you see each other once last week?”

“Yes. We’re reconnecting.”

My wife sat in front of me, her gaze locked on the mirror. Eye-shadows with blue pearls… eyelashes curled thickly… and a deep-red lipstick… 

An ominous imagination slowly rises from my head.

“You’ll miss the train if you don’t leave now,” she said.

“Ah…! Right…” 

After checking the watch, I quickly put my shoes on.

“You’re coming tomorrow evening, right?” 

A voice echoed from the dressing table in the master bedroom. 

My wife did not care to see me off.

“Yes. The conference schedule is a bit–”

“Please contact me before you come. I’ll make dinner in advance.”

“…..Okay.”

I stood outside the door. I stood there. Why my heart thumped erratically, I do not know. Why does it feel as if I had been kicked out of my house? No… I need to stop these thoughts. There’s no way. Impossible. My wife would never cheat on me… right?

I got on the elevator and pressed the button leading me to the parking lot. I saw myself in the mirror. Expensive suit, luxury shoes, and a high-end watch. Even the car key had an emboldened emblem of a luxury vehicle. 

I think myself a fairly successful man in the household – a senior researcher at the R&D Department of a colossal-sized company and a beautiful daughter. My annual income and real estate were well-off, and the land left to me by my grandfather was akin to a jackpot. With that money, I purchased an apartment in Gangnam and two commercial buildings in my name.

Financially, I was secured, but appearance-wise, I was shabby. I had nothing much to give except my wealth. Fortunately, my wife gave birth to a beautiful daughter. Had she inherited my appearance and my dwarfling-like height, I, too, would have wanted to die in shame. 

I was not confident in myself nor in the way I looked. I had always been short and lacking in handsomeness. I lacked self-esteem. To women, I was never their ideal type.

Though, thankfully, through my financial background, I graduated from a reputable university in Korea, completed a doctorate’s degree in foreign countries, and joined a distinguished company with numerous accolades under its belt as a researcher.

I married a little too late. I did not have the time to jostle and fool around, merely sitting at my desk and studying.

Though truth be told, I thought it better not dating. Who would marry a hideously, ugly man less than 160 CM tall without wearing a face of disgust?

The only thing I could give was myself. I thought that would be enough… but life is never what you expect it to be. 

I do not think I would have met my beautiful wife were it not for my inherited wealth and my glowing title as a researcher for a big company.

Though… actually… apart from my height, I had a separate complex. My little man… it was almost the size of my finger. One could hardly see it.

I thought about surgical enlargement, but the professionals expressed their disapproval and said, “Teacher, you can’t create something out of nothing.”

It was cruel. But honest. Honest but cruel.

I remember our first night. I remember the look on my wife’s face as she asked me if I had put it all inside her. It remained a shadow in my back, a trauma never to be forgotten.

Oh, God… why did you give me a clever mind but poor manhood?

I parked the car near the train station and headed for work. Meanwhile, I got a message from my wife.

– Did you arrive safely? I’m going out to see Sarah now. Good luck with the presentation today. ♥

A heart? I smiled. It was a message full of love.

– Yeah. I’m just about to board the KTX. I love you too.

To think I dared to suspect my lovely wife. She deserves more than this. I should always be thankful.