Chapter 1 – Don’t Die

Translator: Toffie
Proofreader: kt

I lifted my hand to prevent the bleeding, but it didn’t help much.

Blood flowed through the gaps of my hand that covered the wound. A fishy smell hit my nose and at the same time, I felt a warm and unpleasant sensation on my palm and in my mouth. “No.”

My vision was blurry, perhaps it was because I was feeling embarrassed.

My head was filled with thoughts about what I wanted to do, but unfortunately, my body betrayed my will.

When I opened my mouth to say no, blood flowed out of my mouth.

My dead eyes trembled.

“……”

There was no room for excuses anymore.

It was obvious that this would be ‘that’ situation no matter what.

Sure enough, Lionel’s face turned white. His complexion, which had always been like white jade, became as pale as an ill person.

“Lindel.”

After I vomited blood, the first word that came out of the emperor’s mouth was my name.

Before that, I urged myself to tell him the truth. But my voice was like a candle that was about to go out.

He was afraid.

“…No.”

That’s the way people felt even if they knew it was too late. 

I had done it just in case. But seeing the emperor’s distorted face, made me realize it was the wrong choice.

Why do humans always repeat the same mistakes?

I wanted to hit my forehead for my stupidity. However, if I were to do such a thing, he would misunderstand and assume I was hurting myself like last time.

It’s ridiculous. Why would I harm myself? Such a thing could never happen.

I am the most precious person in the world.

The words, ‘self-love’ and ‘self-esteem’ were practically meant for ‘Lindel Vaud de Bachne’. 

What do you mean I’m self-harming?!

The humans in this country must have gone insane together.

Oh, I’m embarrassed that my thoughts had wandered elsewhere.

Anyways, I have no such hobbies like self-harm or suicide. 

“Lindel.”

I stayed still, thinking about something else, and Nel called out my name once again. 

When I looked at him, it looked like it was him who was about to collapse.

Lionel’s eyes wandered across my blood-soaked face and palm.

“Sire.”

I was losing my voice. Hearing my voice go hoarse like a deflated balloon was terrifying.

Lionel’s eyes were wet.

Oh my god. I have never seen him cry before. 

I don’t know if I should be happy or sad that he is crying for me.

I have thought of wanting to see him cry, but not in this type of situation.

“I’m not dying.”

I said quite firmly as I did not want to be misunderstood any longer. With my best efforts, only a weak voice came out.

Unfortunately, my best efforts didn’t help much either.

“I’m not dying.”

I could see the strong determination in Lionel’s eyes. His voice was so serious.

“You can’t die, Lindel.”

No, I’m not dying. He strode towards me before I could say what was at the tip of my tongue.

His handsome face got close to me and he stopped breathing.

In the meantime, my heart was pounding again because I liked it. Damn it, why does this guy have to look so handsome?

Lionel grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me into his arms. I had never seen or been so close to him before and now, I’m losing my mind. It’s not bad if we’re going in this direction.

It was annoying to be repeatedly misunderstood, but this is good. 

But as soon as I saw his eyes looking down at me again, my stupid thoughts disappeared. The look in Lionel’s eyes was not normal.

“Your majesty, I will.”

“You will never.”

I opened my mouth as big as I could, but couldn’t stand the irritation in my throat. So I closed it.

I had a bad feeling about it. From the sight of those crazy eyes, whatever words that were about to leave his mouth will not be good.

You crazy bastard. I want someone to stop this misunderstanding now.

“You can’t escape me.”

He said that with a growl. His handsome face now had a foul mood. 

Lionel remarked strongly and repeated as if once was not enough.

“No one can take you from me. Not even death.”

“…….”

“Even you can’t take you away from me. Lindel.”

A line like a protagonist of a tragic love story left Lionel’s mouth. 

I wonder how a man who doesn’t even look at romance novels would know a line like that.

He wasn’t playing around. He was serious. I think I’m going crazy. 

At this point, I wondered why the emperor was such a single-minded person. For generations, the emperors have only said what they wanted to say and heard what they wanted to hear.

I’m not dying. I never even thought of dying. But the situation was going crazy. 

My face was distorted.

“As of this moment, I will stripe Lindel Vaud de Bachne of her knighthood and keep her in the North Palace. No one will be permitted to set foot there without my permission, nor is anyone permitted to leave.”

Lionel’s cold voice did not match the tears running down his cheeks. His eyes and lips expressed his hatred towards me while his tears were mournful to me. 

The knights who had been waiting outside the door entered as soon as the Emperor’s order was issued.

The hardened faces turned to me. Looking at the familiar faces, I didn’t have the energy to rebel. 

If I refused, I would be dragged and forced to go. I was so frustrated that I was going crazy.

Surrounded by knights, I went out and looked back. Nel was still staring at me. His transparent tears fell to the floor without knowing how to stop.

How did I end up here?

* * *

The 196th Imperial Year, the sixth month of the year, and the hottest noon of the summer. 

I was imprisoned by the order of the emperor. 

It was a day before I had retired as a knight.