Chapter 923: 922 Tight-lipped

Over the past few days, Li Wei kept asking, “Who’s the musical guest?”

He hadn’t kept up with pop culture in a while and was worried about falling behind the times.

Just last week, Saturday Night Live had invited BTS as the musical guest–marking the first time the show had featured a K-pop group.

However, Li Wei knew absolutely nothing about them; he didn’t even know how many members were in the group.

If he showed up on set like that, it’d be downright embarrassing.

So, in a move to demonstrate the hospitality of his “Eastern land of etiquette,” Li Wei wanted to do a bit of homework beforehand. That way, he could make some polite small talk and avoid exposing his ignorance.

But to his dismay, Jost and the gang kept teasing him, refusing to give any hints and mysteriously claiming there’d be surprises and suspense on the day.

This immediately raised Ansen’s suspicions, and after persistent grilling, he finally got the answer:

Sara Bareilles.

A rising pop star. While her most well-known single is “Brave,” she’d actually been nominated twice for the Grammy’s Big Four general categories–proof of her talent.

One nomination for Record of the Year. Another for Album of the Year.

Even though she didn’t win, the nominations themselves spoke volumes about her ability.

Following some research, Li Wei found out that Bareilles had just released a new album and would be coming on Saturday Night Live to promote it–prompting him to purchase the album online and cram-listen to it multiple times.

And then–

He got played!

Last night, Taylor Swift showed up at his party, diligently keeping her lips sealed.

Not a single hint slipped out.

Li Wei was completely stunned as he watched Taylor and Jost high-five each other. Trying to calm his racing heart, he gazed helplessly at the laughing pair.

Taking one step forward, he extended his right hand. “Sara, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Has anyone ever told you that you bear a slight resemblance to Taylor Swift?”

Speaking with a mischievous tone, Li Wei pinched his left thumb and index finger together to make a gesture, squinting his left eye and scrunching his nose for effect–the expression was spot-on.

Taylor immediately recognized the danger radiating from Li Wei, hardly giving herself time to laugh. She raised her finger to point at Jost, “It was him–this was all his idea!”

Jost: ??? Wait a second, wasn’t this supposed to go differently?

Li Wei narrowed his eyes and slowly turned toward Jost.

In an instant, Jost felt like he had become a rabbit under the watchful gaze of a cheetah. Every hair on his back stood on end, and without hesitation, he lowered his head.

“Sorry, my bad. I swear, it won’t happen again.”

No excuses, no protests–just an entirely submissive expression.

How could he have forgotten that Li Wei was a professional football player, not to mention trained in mixed martial arts? Jost decided his bones were perfectly fine staying where they were–no need to relocate them.

To yield when needed, that’s what makes a real man!

Li Wei’s lips curled into a faint smile, “Relax. I don’t bite–really.”

But the nonchalant tone only made his words sound more chilling.

“At most, I’d just rearrange your bones a little and let you experience something new. You know, life is all about taking risks.”

Jost shook his head vehemently, “No, thank you! I think my bones are perfect where they are now. I’m very traditional–definitely not into risks. Really. Thank you, Li Wei, thank you!”

Li Wei let out a sigh, “Ah, such a shame.”

With a faint look of disappointment on his face, Li Wei began cracking his knuckles loudly, like a host welcoming a guest. “Are you sure about that?”

Jost shifted half a step back, daring to force out a grin. “Scarlett told me this was just a trick–looks impressive but has zero real threat, correct?”

Li Wei smiled warmly. “Oh really? Is that so? Should we test that theory?”

Jost’s smile dripped with bitterness. “Li Wei. Li Wei! Rookie!”

Seeing Jost’s expression, Li Wei knew he was playing along, so he didn’t continue the joke. Instead, he turned to Taylor.

“You’re really tight-lipped, huh? Didn’t drop a single clue last night. So, what’s the deal with Sara? She’s not coming at all?”

Taylor pressed her lips together, fighting hard to suppress a grin. “No, Sara is next week’s musical guest–that’s all. The timing was off.”

Li Wei finally understood why he’d fallen for their ploy.

Jost, sensing the danger dissipate, quickly threw in another joke. “I was worried Taylor couldn’t keep it a secret–what with her diary and all.”

The abrupt silence following his words was palpable–cue the awkward pause. Talk about hitting the wrong nerve.

Jost, unable to suppress his usual joking habits, had accidentally overstepped–some jokes are best left unsaid.

As soon as the words left his mouth, his expression stiffened slightly. He looked at Li Wei, while Li Wei looked back at him, and the conversation came to a halt mid-air.

The atmosphere was, well… awkward.

Pfft.

Taylor was the first to burst out laughing. “Relax, relax. I’m not Li Wei. Pretty much everyone in America already knows my diaries are my creative inspiration, and Colin hasn’t been the first one to poke fun. If I got upset every time someone made a joke, the Sahara Desert would probably be filled with green forests by now.”

Self-deprecation.

That’s the number one trait needed to be a musical guest on Saturday Night Live.

If you don’t know how to laugh at yourself, you’d better steer clear of the show, or you’re in for a world of pain–emotionally, mentally, and physically.

But Taylor wasn’t just self-mocking; she smoothly added a jab at Li Wei. That playful, mischievous look didn’t quite match her typical good-girl image. She even glanced toward Li Wei with a cheeky smile, eyes twinkling with playful challenge–

Was she… taunting him?

Li Wei tilted his chin slightly, “Well, at least your diary isn’t a ‘Death Note.’ For that, we should all be grateful.”

One second. Two seconds.

Taylor clapped her hands and burst into laughter. “Haha, Li Wei, now that’s a fresh one–a hot and spicy new joke, fresh out of the oven. No one’s ever framed it like that.”

Li Wei shrugged casually. “Taylor, looks like your fans in Neon aren’t as active. If they were, someone would’ve already made the connection on social media. Keep up the good work.”

Taylor could no longer hold it in, laughing so hard she was practically doubling over. It was clear that she was genuinely enjoying herself.

In reality, people on social media had nicknamed Taylor “The Sniper.”

This was because her music often drew inspiration from her exes, and every time she released a new track, everyone wanted to know who her next “target” was–like public executions without the gory details.

Taylor didn’t mind, though. After all, artistic inspiration comes from real life. Even so, she had no patience for nosy bystanders who didn’t have a clue yet felt entitled to judge.

That’s why Li Wei’s “Death Note” joke–drawing on the infamous Neon manga–was a witty twist on her private diaries. It wasn’t offensive but managed to get the point across, instantly brightening Taylor’s mood and sending her into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

Jost, meanwhile, stood there clueless, looking back and forth between Li Wei and Taylor, utterly lost and feeling like a fool.

A full two beats later, Jost finally pieced it together and involuntarily shivered. “Oh God, Li Wei! Are all your jokes this sharp and deadly?”